First a disclaimer and an explanation. Not all songs are about relationships (duh) and certainly a lot of my songs are about other things but this post is all about songs about relationships because those are the lyrics people react to. At gigs I'll get up and sing 'Kamikaze' with lyrics that stop a hair breaths short of concluding that suicide is the only sane life choice and no one will bat an eye, then I get up and sing broken woman and everyones full of 'ooh whose it about? aren't you embarrassed singing that in front of people? how controversial'...people are mad! So those two questions are what I'm going to try to answer here: 'Who are the songs about?" and "Amn't I embarrassed singing such personal lyrics in front of people?"
Taylor Swift* has pretty much based her career on the fact that people love to gossip about relationships. The entire teenage population of America let out one big squeal when she released a song (with media pleasing, calculated lyrical hints) about her famous werewolf boyfriend. She won't talk about relationships in interviews but she'll go into great detail in a song telling you who broke up with who, when and how. The musical equivalent of a celeb gossip blog. Who cares? Ok well clearly some people do care because she's massively famous but as far as I'm concerned who the song is about in the first place is of absolutely no importance whatsoever because all songs are fiction.
Every single one of my songs is fictional. Every person mentioned in every one of my songs is a character.
Every story ever told since the beginning of time is fiction. That documentary you saw on killer whales? Fiction. The glossy magazine you read on the bus? Fiction. The article in the economist on the IMF that you pretended to read? Fiction. No biography, autobiography or documentary tells the whole story, how could it? There is too much to tell. So many millions of incalculable minute things effect every decision that's ever made about anything that you couldn't possibly recount it all. You experience it once when you're there, after that it's a story, part fiction. The people become characters. It's been edited. It HAS to be edited. You choose what to tell and by choosing that your also deciding what not to tell, that's story telling. That's fiction.
I think autobiographical work is the most fictional of all story telling. You've started editing and screening the events in real time before you've even started writing about them. I read and excerpt from Billie Holidays' autobiography years ago and it had an introduction from the editor saying that alot of what was in the autobiography has since been proved to be completely false. The excerpt described how she was working as a singer and erotic dancer in strip clubs since a young age and how her mother would bring her and argue with the pianist over money. She described how the patrons would drop tips for her on the ground that she had to pick up between her knees (I have no idea how this is anatomically possible let alone something that's supposed to be erotic, how would you stand up once you've got bills between your knees? but that's what I remember...I should probably go try to find this book and read over it and make sure I'm not making stuff up**). Anyway none of it happened. Billie Holiday grew up in a nice, relatively middle class family, lived in the suburbs and had a good education. Of course later in life she got into all sorts of drugs and the wrong kind of men so maybe pretending to herself that shed always been there made the fall less harsh. Billie Holidays poor mother probably did her best and still ended up sitting at home listening to her daughter on the radio sing 'God Bless the Child'.
Or Mingus's autobiography, now that's not just an example of fiction, it's pure myth making. Is it even possible to have sex with that many women at once? Him and Bekowski should get together and compare notes (I really wouldn't want to be there for that conversation, actually if Mingus spoke anything like he wrote I'm not sure I'd understand what was being said anyway).
Anyway back to songs.
Now despite all that of course my songs are inspired by real people. But a character in any one of my songs is influenced only fractionally by the real person who inspired it, and much more by other factors such as characters from jazz standards (as proved by my last blog entry which is so relevant and interesting you should go read it now if you haven't already) or traditions that exist in song writing. My songs are tiny fragments of real events skewed through the lens of story telling and song-writing. Am I embarrassed that someone listening will know something deeply personal about me or figure out who the songs about? No. I hope they'll be reminded of things that are deeply personal to all of us and completely universal.
Also you could say every single character in all my songs are me. Like the way an actor has to find something of themselves in the character to be able to play them with any conviction. In 'Oh Rapunzel!' I'm both the knight in shining armor and the spoilt brat of a princess in her tower. In 'Made of Moon' I'm both the character capable of breaking someone's heart and the character being warned to be wary of having their heart broken.
In conclusion: Last week in college in a room full of boys (boys outnumber girls ten to one in jazz school) I sang the line 'I go to bed with the prayer that you'll make sweet love to me'. No one batted an eye. That's a pretty intimate thing to be saying out loud. If you're gonna be a performer you gotta get over it.
In the next blog installment I'll be writing about...actually I'm not sure yet. It'll either be about 'Kamikaze' (a tune of mine from the Sealegs EP) or it'll be about Westlife. No Really. I got lots of great feedback from the last blog which I like so feel free to leave comments (on myspace or facebook or blogspot or wherever).
*One comment I got on my last blog entry was that there were too many jazz references so here's my token pop culture reference. That said choosing Taylor Swift as an ambassador for pop culture is hardly fair. I promise to write at least one blog entry entirely about the best ambassador pop culture could ever ask for: Annie Lennox. I also mentioned the IMF to prove how topical and current I am but I should probably admit I only learnt what the IMF was a few days ago. Anyway to those of you who don't know who Taylor Swift is, congratulations. I wish I was one of you. She's a young country/pop singer songwriter who mostly writes about her famous boyfriends like Taylor Lautner and Joe Jonas. I'm afraid you don't get a congratulations for not knowing who they are unless you're an american teenage girl.
**I wasn't making stuff up but I'm wrong. Apparently:
"Billie Holiday had a difficult childhood. Much information once not considered true was confirmed in the book Billie Holidayby Stuart Nicholson in 1995. Holiday's autobiography, Lady Sings the Blues, which was first published in 1956, is sketchy when it comes to details about her early life, but has been confirmed by the Nicholson research."
...but I still don't see how it's anatomically possible to pick up a dollar bill between your knees and then stand up.